I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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