You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
