great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
