You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
