I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize