12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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