Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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