Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
