Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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