Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
