i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
