bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
