just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Randomize