id be glad to
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize