Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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