Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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