The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
