At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
