Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
