I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
