I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
