and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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