So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
