yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I will be naked everywhere
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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