did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
