How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
