and you said cock pushups were impossible
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
