You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
