i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
