my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
