my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
