We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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