Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize