OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
