He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
