Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
