I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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