For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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