just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
