i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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