i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
