Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
