That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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