I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
