This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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