I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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