I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
