Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
