Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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