Non-Jews are for practice
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
