Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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