Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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