no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize