her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
