Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize