Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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