HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
