is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
