They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
