There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
