WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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