i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
