belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
