If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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