i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize