i think my tv is drunk
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
