Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
