im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
