That's intense
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
