Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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