She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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