there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
